Things that go bump in the night and other ‘Dunny Man’ tales

THE Romans introduced reticulated sewerage 2000 years ago but as late as 1979 some outer suburban areas of Melbourne still required the services of the “dunny can man” or shit-carter, as they called themselves, to pick up their toilet can weekly.

Towns in South Gippsland and Bass Coast had ‘night cart’ collections until well into the 1970s, some later.

I still remember at my old granny’s place in Warragul that the local dunny can man was able to scale the back fence, and into the lane, with a full can of the weekly business on his head.

Ahh, those weren’t the days!!

At the monthly meeting of the Coal Creek Combined Probus Club, which incidentally meets at the Korumburra Golf Club on the third Tuesday of the month, members took a walk down memory lane as they were regaled with a morning of funny stories by John Gardner of Cranbourne, one of Victoria’s last surviving dunny men.

The former construction worker turned sanitary contractor, plied his trade in areas covering the cities of Knox and Lillydale nowadays, and he’s written a book, predicably called “The Dunny Man”.

It’s a story that covers the history of the dunny man, explains the tasks he had to perform, explodes the myths and recalls some of the funny and revealing moments that were daily occurrences.

And the puns… well, they just roll off the tongue. ‘Encounters of the turd kind’ is the title of one of the chapters, ‘Your business is our business’ or ‘No job too big or too small’ was sign-written on the side of the truck and before one State election ‘Another load of Labor’s policies’.

Can you believe it though, until proper disposal depots were established and legislation changed, a truckof full cans could simply be taken out to a nearby paddock and dumped.

Here’s an excerpt from John’s book:

“There have always been horror stories around about the dunny man who was carrying the pan on his head when his head went through the rusty bottom, emptying the contents all over the luckless worker.

“Just try and picture it: he would have the pan stuck over his head, drowning in the contents because the bottom of the dunny would trap him like a crab pot.

“They always swore that it happened at a friend of a friend's, grandma's, or some other long-lost relative's place. As it turns out, it's an urban myth, as it's the sides that rust out, not the bottoms.

“Nevertheless, I was having visions of myself ending up in that sort of situation to some degree if I carried the pans on my head.

“A shit-shower didn't hold much appeal, so in the weeks preceding the start of the contract, I filled a pan with water, and after doing a few test-runs at home, I decided to be a shoulder-carrier and remained that way throughout the contracts.”

John did however get to prove his theory about the sides of cans rusting out before the bottom when he put his hand through the side of the can and had to continue the round unable to wash his hands.

While collections were made in the early hours of the day, to avoid compromising situations with the clients, it inevitably happened when someone thought they could sneak one in before the dunny man arrived.

In John’s experience it was the blokes more than the women who felt put out by these incidents.

But mishaps could and did happen at times.

“As a driver worked from one end of the truck to the other, exchanging empties for fullies, there would always be one of the small doors on the side of the truck open. The driver was constantly aware that the pans only stayed in the truck because of a slightly raised steel bar along each side.

“Sometimes however, when taking a corner or perhaps a bump in the road, a pan would part company with the truck. If you were lucky, it was an empty one that went AWOL. But in my first week I had a fullie abandon the truck by chance right outside a friend's house.”

It nearly ended his short-lived career.

Wonthaggi reportedly had its own piece of folklore attached to the dunny can. According to an account by John Coldebella in the Bass Coast Post, the fiercest rivals of the old Bass Valley League, the Wonthaggi Blues (Japs) and the Wonthaggi Rovers (Rover Dogs) played for a number of years to avoid accepting the Shit Can Cup, an old dunny can mounted on a plinth, which was dropped off at the losing team’s clubrooms after a night of celebrations.

Mr Coldebella noted that up until 50 years ago, when sewerage arrived in Wonthaggi, most toilets in the town were located on the back lane boundary of house blocks. Human waste fell into a circular, bitumen-coated galvanised metal can, 35cm in height and 36cm in diameter, giving it the approximate equivalent volume of about 36 litres, or four laundry buckets.

“Collected once a week, this created some logistical problems for large families, which were numerous in those days.”

Every year at Christmas

At Christmas time, there was often a treat or a card left out for the dunny man.

Some customers were inclined to wax lyrical, one of them in a poem to John Gardner, accompanied by the gift of a bottle of beer, prefaced with the words: “You'll know what to do with this, because it’s just a bottle of piss”.

The poem continues:

“A product of the brewer is here for your reward

“I’d rather have a sewer which I can well afford

“The board of works are cooin’ in their offices neat

“While I continue poohing on this old dunny seat

“Next year may be brighter, the sewerage will come through

“Your load will then be lighter and I’ll be happier too.”

The only constant in life is change and the next development on that front for Wonthaggi is an upgraded sewerage system over the next few years which introduces mechanical waste treatment to replace the present lagoon-based system, providing greatly increased capacity to cater to the projected growth to a population of 13,000 by 2036.

However, while the network of lanes around our towns continue to exist, they’ll remind us of a different time, not so long ago, when the night cart used to roll quietly along behind our homes with the dunny man performing, all jokes aside, a very necessary service.

The ‘Dunny Man’ book is a great read and available through websites including Booktopia at https://www.booktopia.com.au or via email to johngardner@live.com.au where he can also be booked for a speaking engagement.